5 Star Whaaaat?!

This is HIGHlarious. I must share.


*DISCLAIMER* This does not represent language I use or opinions I have.


"I.am.so. I. am. so. good. I am the baddest chick in tha hood."

"My money name is money. My money name is money."

LOL

*DEAD*

In appreciation of a true friend...

I am so very appreciative of the true friends I have in my life.

It really makes my day, week, life, to know that I have people that legit care about my life, want and actively seek to find out more about me. I am also happy to have a fervent belief that our friendship will continue to grow and remain strong over the years...because what's life without friends?

I just had a little chat with one of my best friends about a very traumatic and stressful time in my life. I have shared the whole story with very few people, and only two people have every taken the initiative to ask me about it themselves. Thanks. Like real talk.

I only hope I am as good a friend to you as you are to me. Because slacking friendships are yet another epidemic on the rise.

Tonight's noted epidemics:
Snitching
Annoying little sisters
Slacking friendships


Dear World,
I know it's a recession and times are hard, but get it together. These trends/epidemics are not cool.
Heart,
PJ

To much to say. And i'm sleepy.

It's been a LONG while since I've posted. Well, not that long, but very long considering it's my goal to have 365 posts by the end of the year. Anyhoo...many things have occurred. I had an AMAZING spring break...blog post describing to come. I have secured a job service project for next year which was my first choice for 2/3 of this year so YAY...blog post describing also to come.

I can't believe it's really the end of senior year. So much to do. Lots of freaking out. Not enough time. That's everything in a nutshell. I'll elaborate later.

But today was cool. I started my new research assistant gig which I already can tell I'm going to love. I now kind of regret not working on my own research before, but not to worry, I'll just do it now. =)

I had a lovely sushi dinner with part of the ship and an auntie and for the rest of the night I went out with some of the roomies and I was the dd for the night so it was interesting to see EXACTLY how people are when they go out.

I also think I have a new crush. which is wierd. I can't remember the last time I had a crush on someone.

Alas, it is time to catch some zzzzz's.

-Joy & Happiness-

I've level my friends in my brain. Although it sounds bad. It's actually a good thing.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately. Partly because I'm dealing with a lot of issues within my circle of friends and partly because I'm freaking out worrying about life after May 21. Either way, I'm very happy for the very few friends I have. Recent events have really helped me see. It's so interesting how many different levels the people you call your friends can fall in. Not that you want to classify your friends, but I think its smart to know who 's who.

At the top, I have my friends I can trust with everything. Everything. These are rare. I know I'm a pretty reserved person with regard to my own issues and problems but I know that L, W, and K are there. We have disagreements, but we get over them. And it's a give and take relationship where I listen to them just like they listen to me. I'm SO appreciative of the fact these people are in my life and I think I might not show it enough so I'm going to work on that.

The next level of friends are really really good friends as well. I think that's where the majority of people everyone thinks are my best friends or in my clique fall. This is not to say I don't trust these people. However, they aren't as open as my friends at the top with sharing, or I need to censor or not discuss certain topics around them because of their reactions and actions after hearing it. OR these people get along with me really well and we kick it on the regular, but we don't really talk.

It's just interesting to think about.

Anyhoo enough babbling

You can be a couch potato and work out! Score!

Couch Potato Exercises!
Do these in between commercials.
Found on: http://www.webmd.com/fitness-exercise/features/fitness-for-couch-potatoes

~ Pushups. If floor pushups are too difficult for you, start off by standing up with your hands on the wall, then pushing back. Do this 10 times; increase the reps as the exercise gets easier.

~ Chair squats. Stand up, sit down, then stand right back up (for even more of a workout, don't sit down all the way). Do this for the length of one commercial. As it gets easier, do it again for the next commercial.

~ Marching in place. Move both your arms and legs; add jumping jacks to increase the intensity.

Strength Courage and Wisdom

Strength Courage & Wisdom. I love this song. Currently, I think it mirrors that thoughts in my head.


Inside my head there lives a dream that I want to see in the sun
Behind my eyes there lives a me that I've been hiding for much too long
'Cause I've been, too afraid to let it show
'Cause I'm scared of the judgment that may follow
Always putting off my living for tomorrow
It's time to step out on faith, I've gotta show my face
It's been elusive for so long, but freedom is mine today
I've gotta step out on faith, It's time to show my face
Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found

[Chorus:]
Strength, courage, and wisdom
And it's been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, and wisdom
Inside of me

Behind my pride there lives a me, that knows humility
Inside my voice there is a soul, and in my soul there is a voice
But I've been, too afraid to make a choice
'Cause I'm scared of the things that I might be missing
Running too fast to stop and listen

It's time to step out on faith, I've gotta show my face
It's been elusive for so long but freedom is mine today
I've gotta step out on faith it's time to show my face
Procrastination had me down but look what I have found, I found

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
I close my eyes and I think of all the things that I want to see
'Cause I know, now that I've opened up my heart I know that
Anything I want can be, so let it be, so let it be:.

Strength, courage, and wisdom
It's been inside of me all along,
Strength, courage, wisdom
It's been inside of me all along, everyday I'm praying for:

[Chorus]

Vamp
I found it in me, I found it finally
I'm sure to keep it' cause I like it, I say thank you

it's our anniverZary...

Smile on my face.
Joy in my heart.
That's how every day should start.

Today's like that.
Blue skies white stars.
I don't need money.
Or fancy cars.

Cuz we've got us.
I don't care about me.
Cuz WE are all that matters.
Don't you see?

So we celebrate today!
"Why?" You ask we.
Because...

It's our anniverZary!!!!

I love Z.S. Lifeline!

I call her babycakes. Her real name is Shay.

So I told my kid, mentee, friend, that girl named babycakes, Shay that I would dedicate a post to her. So.... here it is. =)

She also requested free advertising for her blog. So check it out. http://purplechocolatehearts.blogspot.com

What makes a good daughter?

So, like a true WashU student let me share with you some random thoughts that popped into my head while trying to cram to finish a homework assignment.

I was researching the familial roles and relations of families in siglo 17 (the 17the century) in Spain...focusing on the roles of unwed daughters. During that time women were subjected to the hidden lines separating their private home lives from their public lives outside the safety and security of their homes. It was dangerous for unwed women to leave the house without a family member because outside the safety of ones house young unwed daughters are subject to the perils of having their virtues lost or rumors that they've done something uncouth which still loses them their public appearance of being virtuous.

Of course it is now 2010 and I do not live in Spain but what are the dangers of me venturing out into the world alone? I feel like that's about to occur. Yes, I've pretty much been on my own since graduating high school but not really? I don't think I'm nervous about what lies ahead, I do however have a strong and fervent fear of loneliness.

Had this been 17th century Spain, and if my parents had money I would already have been married off (hopefully) to a nice husband who provides a house and economic stability to maintain my security and social status. Nowadays marriage cannot guarantee that, however it can guarantee companionship, assuming you really know and love the person you choose to marry. The one thing that still remains the same is that the marriage of the originally unwed daughter makes the parents happy.

Sadly, I can't think of anything that would make my mother, or myself for that matter happier than if I were to get married sometime soon and have children. Is that weird? I obviously know that I'm not a bad daughter for not achieving these goals at this time in my life, however, what makes me a good daughter? I honestly don't know. But it's something to ponder and work on.

SURPRISE

Little Known Fact About Me:

I'm catholic. Yes, african-american catholics exist.
It's so interesting to me how surprised people are to find this out. Apparently I don't state this enough because all my friends always act like it is brand new news to them.

For Lent I've given up swearing and potatoes. These sacrifices may seem small but they are actually kind of big for me. I have been struggling to not curse as much, and today I had a french fry in my mouth and it wasn't until I was chewing that I realized what I was eating and handed the other half. I said a hail mary and kept it moving. But PHEW! That was close.

If you pray, please pray that I am able to continue my sacrifices, especially during spring break. In addition, that I am able to sacrifice other unimportant things in my life to focus more on what IS important. I really need help stopping myself from swearing. I do not want to restart once easter hits. Potatoes on the other head...yeah...I want those back.

I love my frat!

I would just like to take this time to tell the world how much I love my frat. I have ALWAYS wanted a brother. Ask my mom. ALWAYS. And now I do.

It's not on some "oh those are our frat brothers lets make sure we show up at their party" type deal. They are my real brothers. They talk to me about their girl issues, tell me to much information about the ratchetness they get into, and kick it on a regular basis. The best part is I know they always got my back, and they know I always got theirs.

Special shoutouts to my Bff that wanna be 5. I love you! He's always their to make me laugh, and although he's a bit OVER protective, he surely makes sure no one messes with me.

ZETA PHI BETA SIGMA. A bond often imitated. But NEVER duplicated.

Time Flies

It's almost been a year. I can't believe it.

I'm about to graduate...college. Who would have thought?

I'm supposed to be a grownup soon?

SHUT UP.

I'm going to sleep.

I can't think about such things.

Pray today. Thanks.

PLEASE PRAY FOR CHILE!

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/02/earthquake_in_chile.html

And don't forget to Pray for Haiti!

And Pray for Hawaii! Apparently a tsunami is on its way.

Actually, just pray for the world.

Pride and Joy

After that venting session I need something to uplift my mood. In order to do so, I've decided to share with you a few bits of information that have made me very proud of my family and friends and given me some joy.

- My baby sister is a G. She went to a math competition a few weeks ago, and was the only person on the middle school team that took the time to show up to the competition. She did ok in the individual competition, and under the influence of our high school math teacher she entered the team competition alone. The superstar 7th grader placed 5th out of 30 teams alone. SHE IS SUCH A BALLER.

- My little sister whom I don't have the best relationship with is also doing big things. Although we attend the same school we don't really talk...but whether she knows it or not, I check up on her. She's doing AMAZING in her classes, doesn't give in to peer pressure and just does her.

- My best friend/sister is loving/living her life. She's in school. She has kept her jobs and been raking in the money.AND she just got a new job. She's kept up her working out as well and looks amazing. She's legit one of my role models.

- My twin has been through so much this year but she still has the most amazing outlook on life. She's excited for the future, enjoying life, forgetting the bs around her, working like crazy (this chick has 3 jobs).

- My tre has found love. Like for real. I'm so happy for her. She's doing things, got these fly internships, in school, and working.

-Crazy Kelis! I love her. Until I met her I didn't know how much someone could really care about their friends. She has the biggest heart out of everyone I know and I'm so proud of how much she's changed and grown since we first met. The way she's handled tough situations that were brought to her this week show just how mature she is.

- No one has anything on my Pair. She's only a junior already working on multiple clients' accounts in an accounting firm, while still in school, while still managing to have time for a life, and being away from her family.

- Lifeline, ma, aunties. Love them. I know I don't call like I should. But I love them all just the same.

- Roomie. There is no other. My Roomie will always be better than yours. She's gonna be a doctor. She took initiative to come to dance rehearsal for a routine she wasn't in just for fun and exercise. I've always wanted to do that but never had the courage.

- Ugie. Chick is about her work. I've never seen anyone study on such a constant basis as this girl!

- Woahdie. Love this girl. She's my fitness role model.

- All my friends that got RA positions I'm SO excited and proud of ya'll too.

- BankRhea came to visit and it made my week seeing her. I miss her and many of the WashU grads.

Ok. Tired of typing. Those are just a few of the things that bring me joy/ have made me happy this week and on a constant basis.

i do not like rips bits liars or disrespectful individuals

Let me preface this post with the fact that Sister Act 2 is on so I'm very happy.

However, I need to get something off my chest. People let you down. With all of my education classes, mentoring training, psychology classes, and RA training I know that people generally expect the worst of people and focus on the negative. As such, I try earnestly to focus on the positive things people do. Even, and especially people I dislike personally because I don't like personal biases to get in the way of work.

HOWEVER.

I have legit encountered a grimy individual. I didn't know these people actually existed. I thought everyone had some good in them. Apparently I was wrong. I haven't liked this rip ever since I became acquainted with her. But, I've constantly pointed out the few good things she's done and tried to focus on them, only to find out she's being lying this whole time with some underhanded sneaky mess. I DON'T LIKE RIPS, BITS, LIARS, AND/OR DISRESPECTFUL INDIVIDUALS.

I'm very upset. But I refuse to waste my life on unimportant individuals. So my unhappy emotions end now.

Got my happy thoughts on the post-its in Baby J and in my wallet.

Happy Thoughts For The Day:
Sam Sam
Strawberry Ice Cream
My mom
Ecuador
Fresh Empanadas
Strawberries and cream

A Problem and A Solution

Problem:
I am freaking out wondering what I'm going to do after college. Yes, I've applied to programs. Yes, I've completed my teachers certification. Yet, I have no decisions. Thinking about life after May 21, 2010 is consuming my mind. Real talk. I think about it at least once every other minute. I've become an insomniac. I've ceased being productive academically or at my jobs. It's a legit issue.

Solution:
Focus on things that calm me down. Today I went to go see Afriky Lolo and I was reminded of my love for dance and music. It's hilarious that I will dance in class, go out with friends, dance in Black Anthology, and when everything ends...believe that I'll be ok. I need some new music..and I need to take some time out of each day to dance, and play or listen to music. Hopefully that'll keep me a little bit centered.

Sincerely,

Ceily Decietful (yeah I'm still here...it'll be awhile til I'm gone)

Random thoughts and things I like...

I'm watching Law and Order.
I love Law and Order.

Whoopi Goldberg is a foster mom on this episode.
I love Whoopi Goldberg.

I'm also currently drinking am amazing smoothing I made.
I love delicious smoothies.

The end.

What Makes a Real Friend?

You know that song... Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the others gold?

When I was little I thought it meant that new friends are better than old friends. Clearly I know now that that is not necessarily true. Later I took it to mean that some friends are better than others, the better ones being the gold. Over the years, I've learned that many of my friends prefer silver over gold (with regards to jewlrey) so I wonder if I was confused about which was best all along.

Recently, I've been struggling a lot with some of my relationships with people who I have considered my friends for the last couple years. In reflecting about it and discussing this issue with the limited people who have been there over the years, I have come to the discovery that I really don't know who is my friend. I've come to the conclusion that I have some very very good people in my life, but I don't know if they all are my friends. This scares and saddens me.

I feel like is a friend is someone who you confide and they confide in you. Most of my relationships are very one sided. I don't know how this happened or how to fix this. In addition, it amazes me how much people who I haven't been close with until fairly recently, will support me, and come to me for support, and of course just to be silly...where those people who I considered myself close with, share information with each other, or people I don't hang out with, but get upset when they don't know what's going on in my life. Or now they act funny because I've ceased being excited when I see them, because...I'm not. Why should I make people feel good, because I'm happy to see them, and they rarely if ever do that for me?

This is not to say, I'm not excited when I see them. But I've decided to work on me, and being happy, and being alert. So why expend energy I could use to better myself on people who don't really value me?

I'm done wasting my time on disrespectful, fairweather, people.

Done.

Little Known Fact About Me

I'm not going to lie...I've recieved some news that not only troubles me, it also pisses me off. So I'm going to let the few of you who take the time to read my blog know a little something about me most people fail to realize.

I'm am that crazy hyper positive person you're used to me being. I am lazy and like to have fun and usually try to avoid conflict at all times. I will also inform you that I'm a mean person on the inside and you'll crack up at my inappropriate criticisisms of others and sarcastic responses to unknowing acquaitances. However, rarely am I mean FOR REAL.

But if you push me to that limit...

IT WILL NOT BE PRETTY.

Currently...I'm at the edge of that precipice looking over...imagining all the damage I could do if I felt the urdge and desired the energy rush of taking that free fall. So be forewarned...

Those of you who remember the days when I used to hang with the Dragons at Dan McCarty...

Jay J, that mfjbd is about to make an appearance.

You've been warned.

Lent.

I give up my vices, to sacrifice for HIM. Got to focus on what's important.

Happy Ash Wednesday

For me:
No more potatoes
No more swearing

I should probably give something else up...I just can't think of anything good. We'll see.