2012: Day 4

I am sleepy.
Kids back at school today = crazy
Already hard to keep up with everything I want to but I will succeed.

Goodnight.

God bless everyone.

2012: Day 3

Today was fun-filled (sarcasm).
It honestly wasn't bad.
I made a bad decision and gave into peer pressure and went out to lunch with co-workers thus requiring me to swipe my credit card which I'm trying not to.
I was quite productive however planning a bunch of things for my students.

I made it to the gym in the morning and found out about a bunch of people who go to the same gym so hopefully they'll be my new gym buddies and I'll be able to keep up my trend to go. It takes how many days to make a habit?

Hm... what else?
I made an important hopefully great and not detrimental decision to leave work at work from now on. So after I leave the physical school building I'm not dealing with any of that. Hopefully that will keep my stress level down. One of my other mom-like people in my life gave me the lecture about making sure I take care of me today. I'm trying to follow that advice.

Ooo I got flowers today too. Not from a boy =P but flowers make me happy.

I've also decided if I don't communicate with a specific puppy loving phone attached to the hand individual daily I get sad...don't get excited if you somehow found out about this and read it.

So, it's night time. I'm comfy in my pjs at home.

Now it's time to tumble. Read. And sleep.

Sweet dreams.

Tonight's Prayers:
Dear Jesus, Mary, and Joseph: Watch over my family. Always. Especially now. Thanks.

Love.

2012: Day 2

Today was a good day.

I saw or spoke to a bunch of people that brighten my day today. I will probably say this a lot in my life, but my mom never ceases to amaze me. I am trying to get my life to where it needs to be. That involves doing things to focus on my health, my financial stability, my family, and my sanity/happiness. I'm getting there.

I made it to the gym early, got a little work done, lounged and enjoyed my last day of winter break freedom. I had a nice lunch with someone special and later celebrated yet another fabulous year in one of my line sister's lives. Happy Monday.

Today's prayers:
Dear God. Bless everyone I know and love. And everyone else too.

the people you want are rarely there...

...everyone else won't disappear

Normal

N.O.R.M.A.L.
It is a six letter word.
It should be four.
That way people would know it's something we should not say.
We should not want.
It is one of those words people use because it sounds good.
Or they think they should.

don't call me that.
don't say that around me.
don't even think it.

Day 1:2012

Dear God,
Thanks for waking me up today. I finally went to church again which inspired me to start talking to you again. I got a wonderful present this morning since I got news of my pair's engagement! However, this other news is troubling me something terrible. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction so I guess that's what this is. Everything is relative though. That's what I learned today. Don't let experiences define what direction you're heading in, define the experiences according to how you thing they should be defined. I think that's the gist of what I learned this morning. I'm trying to put this together. Watch my family and friends. Thanks.
Love always.

Diet starts now

I just saw myself and was not pleased. Legit, nothing but water to drink. Exercise. And no large portions. Effective immediately

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Getting a life

I think im finally doing that...or at least one I want

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God's mail

I saw this on the principals door at a school I was volunteering at.
"God responds to knee-mail"

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Much needed comfort

I read this on my bible verse of the day app...which I love. This surprisingly and happily brought me much joy this morning.

1 Peter 5:10 ()

10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. #Bible http://j.mp/i42XtE

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Self control.

Knowing my limits. Exercising self control. Something I'm seriously working on.

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Nervous Habits.

I have a few destructive nervous habits I'd really like to stop.
When I'm stressed I play with my eyebrows and eyelashes which makes them fall out.
When I'm any kind of emotion I overeat.
I just want to sleep when I'm stressed which makes me extra lethargic.
I really want to change these habits.
They say admitting you have a problem is the first step so...
Step 1. CHECK.

No what's step 2?

erase the spot.

Tear. Drops.
Well.
They do not fall.
Tear. Drops.
Put pressure on my
Fore. Head.
Tear. Drops.
Fill my ears with drumming.
Tear. Drops.
Fill a moment of emptiness
Tear. Drops.
Drip drop.
Fill the hole.
Fill the spot.
Block the pain.
Tear. Drops.
Fill my heart.
I leave them their to drown the hurt.
The lack of understanding.
The miss understanding.
My friends know how I feel about crying.
But…
Tear. Drops.
That’s a whole different story.
I need these…
Tear. Drops.

A Good Day

Today was glorious, until 7:34pm
I was having the best day in awhile
Got up and was productive.
Wrote an application.
Talked to an old friend.
Had a me day.
Went downtown.
Walked all day.
Took myself out to lunch.
Talked to my mom.
Got a message from my club.
Talked to my ship.
And then...
but I don't want to talk about that.
I just want to remember.
The good day.

Community service

My kids community service day was a success. I'm happy it went well and even happier it's over.

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Don't let the crazy out

I okie wants I start telling people my true thought s and feelings about their lives...usually still no facts about mine...i dont stop and their generally pretty harsh. I used to feel really bad...but as the years have gone by the amount of time I feel bad had gotten less and less. What's more, I'm generally only apologetic bedside the person had an unhappy response, but not for what I said because clearly it's how I feel. Yup.

It's always pretty hilarious when people realize I really am the mean blunt person I alerts say I am.

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It's Fat Tuesday. Lent is here.

Tomorrow will be March 9, 2011.
Ash Wednesday.
My sister's birthday.
The beginning of Lent.

This year I will abstain to the best of my ability from:
-cursing
-all meat except seafood
-not praying every day
-soda
-french fries
-ice cream
-watching movies on hulu and crackle alone
-being ghost

Keep me accountable.

motherless children

You know the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the family problems of black youth today is fatherless childhoods. I had a revelation yesterday when I realized a large group of my students are motherless instead. My supervisor asked me the other day I'd I thought my teaching background helped me connect with students... I think it has more to do with the fact that I have always been extremely maternal. I'm always the "mom" of my group of friends, or in student groups I participated in. This only intensified when my dad died in high school and I basically became the other mom our house. I was talking to some of my kids on tuesday about why they never make it to school on time and how it's really hurting their academic career. One sister shared with me up until this year she had always ben early because her mom woke her up and dropped her off. I already knew these two sisters had list their mom this year. As of yesterday I call these girls who now live in separate homes to wake them up every morning. Hearing their half sleep yet happy voices this morning made me think maybe I connect with a bunch of my kids because I fill a part of that mom void. Many of the kids cal me their play sister or their auntie already. I honestly don't know...but it's a thought.

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Ready

Lately I'be been waking up really energized. I think whatever slump I'm in has finally end. Success is the only option.3 weeks left in February. The grind continues...

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First Day Back after Chicago Blizzard 2011

It was slooooow. But that to be expected. There were so few kids at school today they combined all the lunches and seminar periods. The good news is student wise... it was an excellent day.

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