Diet starts now

I just saw myself and was not pleased. Legit, nothing but water to drink. Exercise. And no large portions. Effective immediately

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Getting a life

I think im finally doing that...or at least one I want

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God's mail

I saw this on the principals door at a school I was volunteering at.
"God responds to knee-mail"

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Much needed comfort

I read this on my bible verse of the day app...which I love. This surprisingly and happily brought me much joy this morning.

1 Peter 5:10 ()

10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. #Bible http://j.mp/i42XtE

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Self control.

Knowing my limits. Exercising self control. Something I'm seriously working on.

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Nervous Habits.

I have a few destructive nervous habits I'd really like to stop.
When I'm stressed I play with my eyebrows and eyelashes which makes them fall out.
When I'm any kind of emotion I overeat.
I just want to sleep when I'm stressed which makes me extra lethargic.
I really want to change these habits.
They say admitting you have a problem is the first step so...
Step 1. CHECK.

No what's step 2?

erase the spot.

Tear. Drops.
Well.
They do not fall.
Tear. Drops.
Put pressure on my
Fore. Head.
Tear. Drops.
Fill my ears with drumming.
Tear. Drops.
Fill a moment of emptiness
Tear. Drops.
Drip drop.
Fill the hole.
Fill the spot.
Block the pain.
Tear. Drops.
Fill my heart.
I leave them their to drown the hurt.
The lack of understanding.
The miss understanding.
My friends know how I feel about crying.
But…
Tear. Drops.
That’s a whole different story.
I need these…
Tear. Drops.

A Good Day

Today was glorious, until 7:34pm
I was having the best day in awhile
Got up and was productive.
Wrote an application.
Talked to an old friend.
Had a me day.
Went downtown.
Walked all day.
Took myself out to lunch.
Talked to my mom.
Got a message from my club.
Talked to my ship.
And then...
but I don't want to talk about that.
I just want to remember.
The good day.

Community service

My kids community service day was a success. I'm happy it went well and even happier it's over.

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Don't let the crazy out

I okie wants I start telling people my true thought s and feelings about their lives...usually still no facts about mine...i dont stop and their generally pretty harsh. I used to feel really bad...but as the years have gone by the amount of time I feel bad had gotten less and less. What's more, I'm generally only apologetic bedside the person had an unhappy response, but not for what I said because clearly it's how I feel. Yup.

It's always pretty hilarious when people realize I really am the mean blunt person I alerts say I am.

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It's Fat Tuesday. Lent is here.

Tomorrow will be March 9, 2011.
Ash Wednesday.
My sister's birthday.
The beginning of Lent.

This year I will abstain to the best of my ability from:
-cursing
-all meat except seafood
-not praying every day
-soda
-french fries
-ice cream
-watching movies on hulu and crackle alone
-being ghost

Keep me accountable.

motherless children

You know the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the family problems of black youth today is fatherless childhoods. I had a revelation yesterday when I realized a large group of my students are motherless instead. My supervisor asked me the other day I'd I thought my teaching background helped me connect with students... I think it has more to do with the fact that I have always been extremely maternal. I'm always the "mom" of my group of friends, or in student groups I participated in. This only intensified when my dad died in high school and I basically became the other mom our house. I was talking to some of my kids on tuesday about why they never make it to school on time and how it's really hurting their academic career. One sister shared with me up until this year she had always ben early because her mom woke her up and dropped her off. I already knew these two sisters had list their mom this year. As of yesterday I call these girls who now live in separate homes to wake them up every morning. Hearing their half sleep yet happy voices this morning made me think maybe I connect with a bunch of my kids because I fill a part of that mom void. Many of the kids cal me their play sister or their auntie already. I honestly don't know...but it's a thought.

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Ready

Lately I'be been waking up really energized. I think whatever slump I'm in has finally end. Success is the only option.3 weeks left in February. The grind continues...

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First Day Back after Chicago Blizzard 2011

It was slooooow. But that to be expected. There were so few kids at school today they combined all the lunches and seminar periods. The good news is student wise... it was an excellent day.

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The J Factor

What's your joy? Find it out. Keep it in your mind...all the time...find a way to make it your life.

Re-defining your passion

We just returned from mid-year training.
I definitely was not as open as I could have been throughout our training sessions but this training has been instrumental in forcing me to do some personal reflection since I didn't feel like sharing. I feel like I've been slack on many of the things I'm truly passionate about due to the general apathy around me and my tendency to let my virtues down due to the pressures of other. I realized those are just excuses. I have been SLACK.

That is not a part of me I want to become a character trait. So as of today right now that stops. I will uphold the values and virtue that I hold in my heart. I will achieve the greatness I know is mine and I will make it so that the students who's lives I get the privileged of being a part of do the same. That is a promise.

love my kids...smh

Let me tell you about some of my boys. Let's call them J & W. J was one of the first kids I had a good relationship with...but now he's transferring. I'm happy for him...its at another school that's definitely better. Anyhow...W came to homework help and J called him. He found out W was in the city year room and asked if I was there. He told me his transfer was official, he misses me...then asked when are we going out now that he's not my student. Bwhaha love them. Smh. But they cannot ever get it...no matter how hard they try.

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random evacuations

So apparently everyone has to evacuate school at three. That's all we know. Sketch face, right?

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yearbook

The best part about working in a high school is you get do all things you wanted in high school but didnt =]

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students have germs

My kids got me sick. Today felt like forever. The good news is I realized how much of an impact I'm having on one of my kids :)

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bribery or motivation

My kids stay asking me for food. I don't like giving it to them because I want them to feel like they should work on their own. So I made this. I hope it works.

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first day back at work

I love my kids but I wish it was still break. Already had first circle and typing up notes.

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New Year. New Focus.

If at first you don't succeed. Try try again. I'm going to try and use this blog as a journal and write everyday again. Wish me luck...or don't. Either way I'm going to try! Yay!

Happy New Year!