2012: Day 4

I am sleepy.
Kids back at school today = crazy
Already hard to keep up with everything I want to but I will succeed.

Goodnight.

God bless everyone.

2012: Day 3

Today was fun-filled (sarcasm).
It honestly wasn't bad.
I made a bad decision and gave into peer pressure and went out to lunch with co-workers thus requiring me to swipe my credit card which I'm trying not to.
I was quite productive however planning a bunch of things for my students.

I made it to the gym in the morning and found out about a bunch of people who go to the same gym so hopefully they'll be my new gym buddies and I'll be able to keep up my trend to go. It takes how many days to make a habit?

Hm... what else?
I made an important hopefully great and not detrimental decision to leave work at work from now on. So after I leave the physical school building I'm not dealing with any of that. Hopefully that will keep my stress level down. One of my other mom-like people in my life gave me the lecture about making sure I take care of me today. I'm trying to follow that advice.

Ooo I got flowers today too. Not from a boy =P but flowers make me happy.

I've also decided if I don't communicate with a specific puppy loving phone attached to the hand individual daily I get sad...don't get excited if you somehow found out about this and read it.

So, it's night time. I'm comfy in my pjs at home.

Now it's time to tumble. Read. And sleep.

Sweet dreams.

Tonight's Prayers:
Dear Jesus, Mary, and Joseph: Watch over my family. Always. Especially now. Thanks.

Love.

2012: Day 2

Today was a good day.

I saw or spoke to a bunch of people that brighten my day today. I will probably say this a lot in my life, but my mom never ceases to amaze me. I am trying to get my life to where it needs to be. That involves doing things to focus on my health, my financial stability, my family, and my sanity/happiness. I'm getting there.

I made it to the gym early, got a little work done, lounged and enjoyed my last day of winter break freedom. I had a nice lunch with someone special and later celebrated yet another fabulous year in one of my line sister's lives. Happy Monday.

Today's prayers:
Dear God. Bless everyone I know and love. And everyone else too.

the people you want are rarely there...

...everyone else won't disappear

Normal

N.O.R.M.A.L.
It is a six letter word.
It should be four.
That way people would know it's something we should not say.
We should not want.
It is one of those words people use because it sounds good.
Or they think they should.

don't call me that.
don't say that around me.
don't even think it.

Day 1:2012

Dear God,
Thanks for waking me up today. I finally went to church again which inspired me to start talking to you again. I got a wonderful present this morning since I got news of my pair's engagement! However, this other news is troubling me something terrible. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction so I guess that's what this is. Everything is relative though. That's what I learned today. Don't let experiences define what direction you're heading in, define the experiences according to how you thing they should be defined. I think that's the gist of what I learned this morning. I'm trying to put this together. Watch my family and friends. Thanks.
Love always.

Diet starts now

I just saw myself and was not pleased. Legit, nothing but water to drink. Exercise. And no large portions. Effective immediately

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Getting a life

I think im finally doing that...or at least one I want

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God's mail

I saw this on the principals door at a school I was volunteering at.
"God responds to knee-mail"

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Much needed comfort

I read this on my bible verse of the day app...which I love. This surprisingly and happily brought me much joy this morning.

1 Peter 5:10 ()

10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. #Bible http://j.mp/i42XtE

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Self control.

Knowing my limits. Exercising self control. Something I'm seriously working on.

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Nervous Habits.

I have a few destructive nervous habits I'd really like to stop.
When I'm stressed I play with my eyebrows and eyelashes which makes them fall out.
When I'm any kind of emotion I overeat.
I just want to sleep when I'm stressed which makes me extra lethargic.
I really want to change these habits.
They say admitting you have a problem is the first step so...
Step 1. CHECK.

No what's step 2?

erase the spot.

Tear. Drops.
Well.
They do not fall.
Tear. Drops.
Put pressure on my
Fore. Head.
Tear. Drops.
Fill my ears with drumming.
Tear. Drops.
Fill a moment of emptiness
Tear. Drops.
Drip drop.
Fill the hole.
Fill the spot.
Block the pain.
Tear. Drops.
Fill my heart.
I leave them their to drown the hurt.
The lack of understanding.
The miss understanding.
My friends know how I feel about crying.
But…
Tear. Drops.
That’s a whole different story.
I need these…
Tear. Drops.

A Good Day

Today was glorious, until 7:34pm
I was having the best day in awhile
Got up and was productive.
Wrote an application.
Talked to an old friend.
Had a me day.
Went downtown.
Walked all day.
Took myself out to lunch.
Talked to my mom.
Got a message from my club.
Talked to my ship.
And then...
but I don't want to talk about that.
I just want to remember.
The good day.

Community service

My kids community service day was a success. I'm happy it went well and even happier it's over.

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Don't let the crazy out

I okie wants I start telling people my true thought s and feelings about their lives...usually still no facts about mine...i dont stop and their generally pretty harsh. I used to feel really bad...but as the years have gone by the amount of time I feel bad had gotten less and less. What's more, I'm generally only apologetic bedside the person had an unhappy response, but not for what I said because clearly it's how I feel. Yup.

It's always pretty hilarious when people realize I really am the mean blunt person I alerts say I am.

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It's Fat Tuesday. Lent is here.

Tomorrow will be March 9, 2011.
Ash Wednesday.
My sister's birthday.
The beginning of Lent.

This year I will abstain to the best of my ability from:
-cursing
-all meat except seafood
-not praying every day
-soda
-french fries
-ice cream
-watching movies on hulu and crackle alone
-being ghost

Keep me accountable.

motherless children

You know the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the family problems of black youth today is fatherless childhoods. I had a revelation yesterday when I realized a large group of my students are motherless instead. My supervisor asked me the other day I'd I thought my teaching background helped me connect with students... I think it has more to do with the fact that I have always been extremely maternal. I'm always the "mom" of my group of friends, or in student groups I participated in. This only intensified when my dad died in high school and I basically became the other mom our house. I was talking to some of my kids on tuesday about why they never make it to school on time and how it's really hurting their academic career. One sister shared with me up until this year she had always ben early because her mom woke her up and dropped her off. I already knew these two sisters had list their mom this year. As of yesterday I call these girls who now live in separate homes to wake them up every morning. Hearing their half sleep yet happy voices this morning made me think maybe I connect with a bunch of my kids because I fill a part of that mom void. Many of the kids cal me their play sister or their auntie already. I honestly don't know...but it's a thought.

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Ready

Lately I'be been waking up really energized. I think whatever slump I'm in has finally end. Success is the only option.3 weeks left in February. The grind continues...

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First Day Back after Chicago Blizzard 2011

It was slooooow. But that to be expected. There were so few kids at school today they combined all the lunches and seminar periods. The good news is student wise... it was an excellent day.

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The J Factor

What's your joy? Find it out. Keep it in your mind...all the time...find a way to make it your life.

Re-defining your passion

We just returned from mid-year training.
I definitely was not as open as I could have been throughout our training sessions but this training has been instrumental in forcing me to do some personal reflection since I didn't feel like sharing. I feel like I've been slack on many of the things I'm truly passionate about due to the general apathy around me and my tendency to let my virtues down due to the pressures of other. I realized those are just excuses. I have been SLACK.

That is not a part of me I want to become a character trait. So as of today right now that stops. I will uphold the values and virtue that I hold in my heart. I will achieve the greatness I know is mine and I will make it so that the students who's lives I get the privileged of being a part of do the same. That is a promise.

love my kids...smh

Let me tell you about some of my boys. Let's call them J & W. J was one of the first kids I had a good relationship with...but now he's transferring. I'm happy for him...its at another school that's definitely better. Anyhow...W came to homework help and J called him. He found out W was in the city year room and asked if I was there. He told me his transfer was official, he misses me...then asked when are we going out now that he's not my student. Bwhaha love them. Smh. But they cannot ever get it...no matter how hard they try.

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random evacuations

So apparently everyone has to evacuate school at three. That's all we know. Sketch face, right?

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yearbook

The best part about working in a high school is you get do all things you wanted in high school but didnt =]

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students have germs

My kids got me sick. Today felt like forever. The good news is I realized how much of an impact I'm having on one of my kids :)

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bribery or motivation

My kids stay asking me for food. I don't like giving it to them because I want them to feel like they should work on their own. So I made this. I hope it works.

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first day back at work

I love my kids but I wish it was still break. Already had first circle and typing up notes.

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New Year. New Focus.

If at first you don't succeed. Try try again. I'm going to try and use this blog as a journal and write everyday again. Wish me luck...or don't. Either way I'm going to try! Yay!

Happy New Year!

Thoughts and Prayers for the KS Chapter of DST and Thoughts About the Situation

ord be with your children and may your presence be a comfort so strong that faith is restored. Amen.. This prayer is extented to the girls and their families.

I copied this from my deuce's Facebook status after I told her about the girls from E. Carolina University. 4 ladies were in a serious car accident yesterday. As of now two have passed away and the other two are in critical condition. These ladies were supposed to probate and tell the world they are new members of Delta Sigma Theta later yesterday evening. They never made it.

Things like this make you wonder. They make you sad.

I get upset just thinking about the "What-if's".


What if I never joined the Greatest Sorority on Earth, Zeta Phi Beta, Sorority, Incorporated?
What if this was my ship and I?
What if this was my ship and I?
What if this was my ship and I?
What if this was my ship and I?
What if this was my ship and I?

Car accident? My sisters? My line sisters?
Dead?

Yeah.
No.

I can cry just from that.

My Lifeline keepz my heart beating. My attitude is Contagiouz. - PM
We are STRONG women. -Mi Madre

Update UPdate

I've been horrible for the last month.

My apologies.

I'm back.

Full force.

Here it goes.

The kids. Make my day.

Even the bad days. With my kids. I'm good.

Grown-ups are another story.

But it's cool.

My City Year.

Is my year.

You'd be amazed at what's happened so far?

We weren't in school last friday.

On Monday "Ms. ____ Where were you?! I needed you."

On Tuesday "Psst. Ms. ___ Come here!" "I saw!" (his A)

On Monday...filling out surveys about 2nd quarter goals "What is the best part about class?" "Ms. _____ I love her. She explains it all. She's why I made it through last quarter and did so well. I love her and city year"

Today "Can I stay with you for lunch?" "How come you don't come get me to do my work?" "Can I come do my homework with you during seminar/lunch?"

Like I said before.

I love my kids.

Padre Nuestro

Padre nuestro, que estás en el cielo,

santificado sea tu Nombre;

venga a nosotros tu reino;

hágase tu voluntad en la tierra como en el cielo.

Danos hoy nuestro pan de cada día;

perdona nuestras ofensas,

como también nosotros perdonamos a los que nos ofenden;

no nos dejes caer en la tentación, y líbranos del mal.

Amén.

Red Coat Ceremony Day

Today was Red Coat Ceremony. I was skeptical at first but it was really cool. Each corps member went up with their team and said who/what they're dedicating their red City Year bombers too. It was really touching. I dedicated mine to my mom, my sisters, and the obstacles in life. BAM.

First Public PT Day - Daily Plaza

I can't even lie...this morning was a ton of fun!
I love being on PT Crew and CY Chi Rocked PT this morning!

CHECK US OUT!
http://www.youtube.com/user/cityyear#p/u

Long Day and PT Crew!

Today:
Two long sessions
*Continued literacy training... I very much enjoyed the sections on reader's theatre and using music in the classroom because those are two activities I personally enjoy and had great success with during my student teach experience
*Social Emotiona Learning - clearly a big component of education

Oh yeah...I MADE PT CREW TOO! YAY!
CY Chi Town better get ready because with T-Time & I on crew things are going to be ridiculous

Friendship Makes the World Go 'Round

Last night I hung out with some co-workers outside of work for the first time. We celebrated a birthday by shopping, eating, and bowling downtown. I had a blast and I'm so happy to finally feel like I have some friends at my job.

John 3:1-17 ??? "The Pursuit of Happiness"

I love it when bible verses and passages are just thrown at me. I logged on to Facebook and my Ma was talking about how her pastor discussed the "Pursuit of Happiness" along with John 3:1-17. I found the passage and read it, but I'm not sure how it relates with my pursuit of happiness other than believing in the word of the Lord and aligning my thoughts and actions with the purpose of getting into heaven. So, I thought I'd share. If you think of anything, let me know.

John 3:1-17 (New International Version)

John 3
Jesus Teaches Nicodemus
1Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council. 2He came to Jesus at night and said, "Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him."

3In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.[a]"

4"How can a man be born when he is old?" Nicodemus asked. "Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be born!"

5Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. 6Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit[b] gives birth to spirit. 7You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You[c] must be born again.' 8The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

9"How can this be?" Nicodemus asked.

10"You are Israel's teacher," said Jesus, "and do you not understand these things? 11I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. 12I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? 13No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man.[d] 14Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.[e]

16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,[f] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+3%3A1-17&version=NIV

A Verse For You - It should be easy to love.

God has poured out his love into our hearts.
- Romans 5:5


That's big. People should easily be able to love one another if they have God's love inside them. Just a thought.

The Haze Is Clearing

Upon reflection this was a decent week of training.

People wise, I feel a little secure in my school team, my unending affection for my IJ team will never cease, and I now find myself feeling pretty cool with a few individuals who have no team ties to me so that's wonderful news. In addition, I feel like the staff has warmed up as well so interactions aren't so awkward anymore so that's nice.

Session wise, as the week progressed the rotations and presentations got better and better. I can truly say I'm not such a big fan of powerpoint anymore and I will strongly consider other alternatives whenever I have to give presentations in the future. But I digress, I really enjoyed our math and reading sessions, although, honestly I did know about half of the information (sometimes more in-depth than the presenter) but I also learned a lot. Not only that, it allowed me to see what my team knew and was good at, as well as the flip side. I watch people, so even when I felt like material was repetitive to me, it was obvious when others had never heard/thought/understood things we were talking about, so I know to keep that in mind.

Other than that, I'm just happy because we finally visit schools next week. I just want to know my teacher and finally meet them. That's the big thing for me. It will be extra important when working with my kids, for my coordinator role, and for my sanity. It'll hopefully be a partnership and hopefully a break from the constant TEAM TEAM TEAM mentality which I think drains me.

-Counting Down

Lecture. Lecture. Lecture.

Lecture.
Powerpoint.
Qs & Ls.
Rotations.
Pair & Share.
Repetition.
Knowledge.
Commiseration.
Close-minded individuals.
Confrontation.
Learning.
Openness.
Collaboration.
Such is training so far.

BTA continues.

Just for Today

Lord, for tomorrow and its needs,
I do not pray;
Keep me, my God, from stain of sin
Just for today.

Let me both diligently work,
And duly pray.
Let me be kind in word and deed,
Just for today.

Let me be slow to do my will,
Prompt to obey;
Help me to sacrifice myself
Just for today.

And if today my tide of life
Should ebb away,
Give me thy Sacraments divine,
Sweet Lord today.

So for tomorrow and its needs
I do not pray,
But keep me, guide me, love me, Lord,
Just for today.

- Sy bil F. Partridge

http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Prayer/index.aspx

Branding

Branding.
It's important for any organization.

I love that the golden arches mean McDonald's.
I love that the Nike check means running shoes.

I know what the City Year logo means to me...but what does it mean to others?

Today was all about how to sell ourselves and City Year.
I have very mixed feelings about it.
I understand the importance of it, but I felt like they were trying to brainwash me and tell me what to say and I'm not cool with that. Luckily, I'm me, and I will still answer questions and conduct business in my own individual style regardless of how any organization tries to shape me. However, I did learn a lot of new and valuable information about the corps and its history today.

Welp.
Goodnight.

P.S. I just made FB groups for my IJ and school based teams. #yeahbuddy