my heart and soul

My heart and soul have fallen
I know not what to do
For the confusion you have caused me
Has caused me a revelation anew

I know who I am and who I want to be
I’m just not sure if the me that I am
Is as loving open and happy and free
So you see

My heart and soul have fallen
They were inflated perhaps too much
When you entered my life

Your kiss that first night erased so much stress and strife
I thank you for that.
I thank you.

Your words every day have tickled my soul
If you only knew the tirades of others who have tried their best to bruise the shriveled mess of what’s left.

Your touch the first week
A hug, a movement brushing passing me
Kept my heart on edge
I held my breath waiting for just on electrifying second of your touch
Your arm brushing past me
Grabbing me to move me as someone passed by

Your desires and actions that you’ve expressed to me however
Do not align
I try so hard to be that girl, that woman
The one, I want to be… with you

But you wont let me.

Why?

My heart and soul have fallen
I know not what to do
For the confusion you have caused me
Has caused me a revelation anew

I bend down and place my fallen heart back on it’s pedestal, on a star in the sky where its been for so long, and rightfully belongs
I place the shield I’ve used for years back up around it
It’s stronger now

I do not know what will come of you, me….we
We’ll see.

My heart and soul have fallen
I know not what to do
For the confusion you have caused me
Has caused me a revelation anew