Please do not read anything into the previous post. I'm only sad for about 30 minutes, which quickly turns to anger where I am now. I am not an angry person so I'll probably be back to being happy and living my life carefree by the morning.
Sincerely,
Me
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
my heart and soul
My heart and soul have fallen
I know not what to do
For the confusion you have caused me
Has caused me a revelation anew
I know who I am and who I want to be
I’m just not sure if the me that I am
Is as loving open and happy and free
So you see
My heart and soul have fallen
They were inflated perhaps too much
When you entered my life
Your kiss that first night erased so much stress and strife
I thank you for that.
I thank you.
Your words every day have tickled my soul
If you only knew the tirades of others who have tried their best to bruise the shriveled mess of what’s left.
Your touch the first week
A hug, a movement brushing passing me
Kept my heart on edge
I held my breath waiting for just on electrifying second of your touch
Your arm brushing past me
Grabbing me to move me as someone passed by
Your desires and actions that you’ve expressed to me however
Do not align
I try so hard to be that girl, that woman
The one, I want to be… with you
But you wont let me.
Why?
My heart and soul have fallen
I know not what to do
For the confusion you have caused me
Has caused me a revelation anew
I bend down and place my fallen heart back on it’s pedestal, on a star in the sky where its been for so long, and rightfully belongs
I place the shield I’ve used for years back up around it
It’s stronger now
I do not know what will come of you, me….we
We’ll see.
My heart and soul have fallen
I know not what to do
For the confusion you have caused me
Has caused me a revelation anew
I know not what to do
For the confusion you have caused me
Has caused me a revelation anew
I know who I am and who I want to be
I’m just not sure if the me that I am
Is as loving open and happy and free
So you see
My heart and soul have fallen
They were inflated perhaps too much
When you entered my life
Your kiss that first night erased so much stress and strife
I thank you for that.
I thank you.
Your words every day have tickled my soul
If you only knew the tirades of others who have tried their best to bruise the shriveled mess of what’s left.
Your touch the first week
A hug, a movement brushing passing me
Kept my heart on edge
I held my breath waiting for just on electrifying second of your touch
Your arm brushing past me
Grabbing me to move me as someone passed by
Your desires and actions that you’ve expressed to me however
Do not align
I try so hard to be that girl, that woman
The one, I want to be… with you
But you wont let me.
Why?
My heart and soul have fallen
I know not what to do
For the confusion you have caused me
Has caused me a revelation anew
I bend down and place my fallen heart back on it’s pedestal, on a star in the sky where its been for so long, and rightfully belongs
I place the shield I’ve used for years back up around it
It’s stronger now
I do not know what will come of you, me….we
We’ll see.
My heart and soul have fallen
I know not what to do
For the confusion you have caused me
Has caused me a revelation anew
Sunday, July 18, 2010
no one likes a nice guy
No one likes a nice guy. Sometimes I think this is true. Sometimes I think it's not. I don't know. I feel like I always like nice guys. The problem is nice guys don't like nice girls. Oh well.
Jealousy
Random... but i find jealousy attractive. In moderation of course. I'm just saying though. Think about it. If you like someone, getting jealous makes sense right? Right?
Also... I don't know if I spelled jealousy right... but if I did... it's:
jea - lousy
That could contradict the aforementioned statement because if it contains "lousy" in its name it's probably not a good thing.
Also... I don't know if I spelled jealousy right... but if I did... it's:
jea - lousy
That could contradict the aforementioned statement because if it contains "lousy" in its name it's probably not a good thing.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Favorite Lines of Today
I'm trained to kill but with women I'm trained to respect.
"I'm not that kind of teacher." "Well you already gave me an order."
"Teacher." "Soldier."
creative freedom vs. giving freedom....what's better? hmmm
yup. today was a good day.
"I'm not that kind of teacher." "Well you already gave me an order."
"Teacher." "Soldier."
creative freedom vs. giving freedom....what's better? hmmm
yup. today was a good day.
Random Facts About Me
1) If my ship thinks your lame. You automatically lose cool points and you have to do a lot to earn them.
2)I love my baby sister so much. I am her other mother in all honestly so don't be surprised by the mother-daughter-esk conversations we have.
3)I miss my roommates. A lot. I don't want to make other friends. They were enough.
4) I strongly dislike the stress of apartment shopping. It's driving me crazy.
2)I love my baby sister so much. I am her other mother in all honestly so don't be surprised by the mother-daughter-esk conversations we have.
3)I miss my roommates. A lot. I don't want to make other friends. They were enough.
4) I strongly dislike the stress of apartment shopping. It's driving me crazy.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Art Sci Weekends
ArtSci Summer Weekends are a program I've been involved with off and on for the last couple years.
Now I just show up out of habit.
I really love that program... lol.
It's funny when I show up though, because I don't really belong there any more. Oh well.
Now I just show up out of habit.
I really love that program... lol.
It's funny when I show up though, because I don't really belong there any more. Oh well.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Falling off track...determined to get back on. I need my focus
Recommitment
I need to do this.
I feel like it always helps to write things down because I can come back to it if I forget, and it stays in my mind longer.
I need to:
Get back to practicing my viola and playing because it always makes me feel better
Start eating healthier again
Start exercising again
Get back to reading my bible on the regular
Pray every day
Keep this journal up
Keep in contact with my friends
Enjoy life more. Stress less.
Ready. Set. Go!
I need to do this.
I feel like it always helps to write things down because I can come back to it if I forget, and it stays in my mind longer.
I need to:
Get back to practicing my viola and playing because it always makes me feel better
Start eating healthier again
Start exercising again
Get back to reading my bible on the regular
Pray every day
Keep this journal up
Keep in contact with my friends
Enjoy life more. Stress less.
Ready. Set. Go!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Patience
Patience - a virtue i was NOT blessed with
So I'm working on it:
PSA 37:7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret
when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to
evil.
9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will
inherit the land.
40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
PRO 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms
a quarrel.
ECC 7:8 The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is
better than pride.
1CO 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not
boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs.
LAM 3:26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
So I'm working on it:
PSA 37:7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret
when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to
evil.
9 For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will
inherit the land.
40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
PRO 15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms
a quarrel.
ECC 7:8 The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is
better than pride.
1CO 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not
boast, it is not proud.
5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
keeps no record of wrongs.
LAM 3:26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Random Quick Happy Thought - Boule', NYC, Chicago
Ahhhhhhhhhhh
I think it's really starting to hit how ridiculous the rest of this summer/year is going to be.
I'm in Chicago now, kickin' it for the 4th.
I'm going apartment shopping tomorrow (i know, CRAZY!)
Common concert on Friday!
Most likely Six Flags on the 17th!
Boule' in Texas 18 days!
DLP in NYC in 1 month and 1 day!
Marchdown in 1 month 10 days!
My birthday and training in 1 month 16 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH EM GEEE!!!!!!!!!
::excited scared happy freaked out confused face::
I think it's really starting to hit how ridiculous the rest of this summer/year is going to be.
I'm in Chicago now, kickin' it for the 4th.
I'm going apartment shopping tomorrow (i know, CRAZY!)
Common concert on Friday!
Most likely Six Flags on the 17th!
Boule' in Texas 18 days!
DLP in NYC in 1 month and 1 day!
Marchdown in 1 month 10 days!
My birthday and training in 1 month 16 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH EM GEEE!!!!!!!!!
::excited scared happy freaked out confused face::
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Tonights Reflection
We went to Queen of Sheeba tonight for someone's birthday who never showed up. That was really kind of rude. Luckily we had fun. Then we headed to the landing. This place just about always makes me happy. However, I don't understand why people go just to drink and don't want to dance. If that's not your scene then don't come. It just makes it less fun for whoever your with.
In addition, while driving home, this car in front of us on the highway was swerving extra bad! Please don't drink and drive people! Luckily/unluckily this man had just fallen asleep behind the wheel. Luckily we noticed and honked a bunch to wake him up. Buut that's also a big problem. It was kind of scary.
But now I'm home and safe. I've showered off all the disgusting smell of smoke and I'm going to crash so goodnight.
In addition, while driving home, this car in front of us on the highway was swerving extra bad! Please don't drink and drive people! Luckily/unluckily this man had just fallen asleep behind the wheel. Luckily we noticed and honked a bunch to wake him up. Buut that's also a big problem. It was kind of scary.
But now I'm home and safe. I've showered off all the disgusting smell of smoke and I'm going to crash so goodnight.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Friday, July 1
It was a lovely night. Ladies night out on Wash Ave.
We kicked it hard.
I met someone from Port St. Lucie!!!! So random.
Ended up at Steak n Shake.
It was pretty much the definition of a win.
We kicked it hard.
I met someone from Port St. Lucie!!!! So random.
Ended up at Steak n Shake.
It was pretty much the definition of a win.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
It's such a gorgeous day!
I wrote this yesterday but apparently it never posted!
I walked to my job this morning to find this glorious scene! Its such a wonderful way to start the day off. To top it off it's cool outside too and my bff called me to wake me up to start working out. Hopefully my students show up happy thanks to awakening to a great day too!
Sincerely Ceily
So. I legitimately have a goal of becoming multiple things in my life:
A teacher
A mother
A bartender
A radio dj
An actress
A chef
Teacher -- Check
Next up is actress.
To become one, I figure I need to get discovered. I'm not trying to inflate my already overly-inflated ego, but I find myself pretty hilarious. I think a reality TV show or a sitcom based off of my life would be highly entertaining. But first I have to get discovered. So, I've started a new blog that will hopefully one day get me discovered. It's still all me, just they extreme thoughts I usually keep in my head and responses to things that excite me...because I feel like they'll excite others too. This blog will remain as the journal i intended it to be about my daily life...with a few digressions here and there of course.
So if you get bored/ want to follow another blog, follow my hopefully soon to be show: sincerelyceily.tumblr.com
A teacher
A mother
A bartender
A radio dj
An actress
A chef
Teacher -- Check
Next up is actress.
To become one, I figure I need to get discovered. I'm not trying to inflate my already overly-inflated ego, but I find myself pretty hilarious. I think a reality TV show or a sitcom based off of my life would be highly entertaining. But first I have to get discovered. So, I've started a new blog that will hopefully one day get me discovered. It's still all me, just they extreme thoughts I usually keep in my head and responses to things that excite me...because I feel like they'll excite others too. This blog will remain as the journal i intended it to be about my daily life...with a few digressions here and there of course.
So if you get bored/ want to follow another blog, follow my hopefully soon to be show: sincerelyceily.tumblr.com
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